5 Secrets to Transform Your Experience of Aging...

They’ll help you shift from a sense of loss to a sense of gain My 15-year-old son Evan walked off the tennis court triumphantly, as if he had just won the U.S. Open. Up to that point, our matches had always ended in a tie: I made sure of that or, rather, I could make sure of that. Now, toweling off while feeling an unfamiliar tug on my heart, I said to him, “Hey, Ev, did you ever wonder why the score always remained the same in our tennis matches over the years?” Then, in a suggestive whisper, I continued: “Maybe you could continue that trend — gracefully?” He didn’t respond, but I knew his answer. And it was deafening. Walking back to the car, I was consumed by the thought that my relationship with Evan (and with my life generally) was clearly at a crossroads. Staying positive as I aged would require letting go of capacities that were diminishing and embracing ones that were expanding. Easy transition? No! Gratifying? Mostly! Here are five secrets I’ve learned along the way that helped turn my experience of aging from a sense of loss into a sense of gain: Learn to accept what is. There is no end to the expanding benefits of embracing life on its own terms. If I hadn’t accepted my inevitable decline in physical acuity — the awareness of which began on the tennis court that day — it would have led to nothing but suffering. Instead, by refocusing my attention on supporting, even celebrating, my son’s physical ascension from boy to early manhood, I was able to walk away from “defeat” feeling relatively good. This mindset shift allowed me to interpret the situation, and many others...

What Should You Weigh?

Figuring out what the scale should say, not what you want it to, is worth the trouble You probably have the number in your head right now. Most of us do. It’s the weight you’d like to weigh, if you had your druthers. It may be a long-ago weight — before you had kids, before you were married, even when you were still in school. Or it might be more recent — the number on the scale when you were training for, say, your first marathon in your 30s or when you did aerobics nearly every day. It could be time, though, to put that fantasy number to bed and focus on reaching or maintaining a healthy weight — the figure at which we feel strong, energetic, like our best self. So what is that number? Good question. Figuring it out is not an exact science, says Lisa Young, an adjunct professor at New York University and author of The Portion Teller Plan: The No-Diet Reality Guide to Eating, Cheating, and Losing Weight Permanently. That said, “it’s important to strive for something that’s realistic and healthy, and that’s usually a Body Mass Index [BMI] of 18.5 to 25,” which is considered normal weight, says Young. But BMI Has Its Limits No doubt you’ve heard of BMI, a fairly simple number crunch of weight and height to estimate how much fat a person has. Though widely-used, it’s not a perfect way to measure the link between weight and health, says Dr. Rexford S. Ahima, professor of medicine at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of Medicine. Years ago, “the World Health Organization came out with some standards and [said that] if you have a BMI of 30 or higher you...

Paul McCartney, Speaking Words of Wisdom...

6 life and work lessons from the latest show of the legendary Beatle After telling friends I’d seen Paul McCartney’s sold-out show in Minneapolis recently, I heard these questions: Was he still good? Did you smell pot? Did he play (insert your favorite Beatles song here)? To answer: McCartney, 72, looked and sounded fantastic. I did not smell pot where I was seated. Yes, he probably played (insert Big Hit here). He’s a legend, after all. Nearly every song during the three-hour show was once a chart-topper. But watching McCartney and listening to his stage stories made me think about more than his amazing musical talents. What resonated was his genuineness and ease on stage, a comfort and command that are hallmarks of aging well — eight years after he turned 64. Here are six lessons I gleaned from McCartney’s show, both for career success and living a vital life: Claim your place. McCartney unabashedly owns his spot in the pantheon of great entertainers, not in an obnoxious, prima donna kind of way, but by conveying authority and confidence. He’s not back to where he once belonged—he’s staying where he clearly belongs, leading the songs, the band, the whole show. He shares his talents — like his roaring guitar on Purple Haze as a transition to Let Me Roll It — and stories, like the one about attending a Jimi Hendrix show in Britain when Hendrix was relatively unknown. McCartney said Hendrix “called out into the crowd for Eric (Clapton),” asking for help tuning his guitar after shredding through a song. Clapton refused, according to McCartney, with a “Do it yourself!” shrug. “He was a great guy,” McCartney said of Hendrix. “So humble.” McCartney wasn’t name-dropping but showing his...