From neighbors to relatives to the pizza delivery woman, it’s critical to have people looking out for a parent who’s aging in place If you’re looking out for a parent in declining health who continues to live alone, and who resides more than an hour’s drive away, consider yourself a long-distance caregiver. It’s a hard role to fill alone, but an informal network of eyes and ears can provide crucial aid. These supporters can be neighbors, friends, parishioners, even a mail carrier or the pizza delivery person. Predictability can make it easier to keep track of a parent’s activities, and to tell quickly if something is wrong, says Carol Bradley Bursack, author of Minding Our Elders (McCleery and Sons, 2005). When you’re on the scene, commit some time to following your parent’s routines and seeing who they interact with daily or weekly. Identify and get to know those people, who could become part of your network. If, for example, your mother goes to the bank every Monday morning, her regular teller may take notice if she doesn’t come in one day. Next time you have the opportunity, accompany your mother to the bank, meet the teller, and consider giving him or her your phone number. Your efforts shouldn’t be a secret from your parent. “Explain that it’s for safety, and that they’re not intruding, just checking on her,” says Gail Hunt, president and chief executive of the National Alliance for Caregiving in Bethesda, Md. These strategies can help as well: Find out who delivers to your parent. Anyone who makes regular deliveries to your parent, like a mail carrier, paperboy or supermarket carrier, is a potential source of help. If these people notice mail and newspapers piling up, or...
